Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tired of being TIRED!
I have been on this journey recently, trying to figure out what makes me happy. A journey I have started many times before but never completed. I'm a thirty eight year old woman trying to 'find herself''. Trying to figure out what happy is and how to get it. Battling between what I want to do and what I know I need to do.
Now, in my head it sounds so stupid. 'Trying to find myself'.
When I was younger and someone told me they were 'finding their self' I used to think, 'Find Yourself?! You don't know where the hell you are?!'
Sacred - Something that is held in high regards. Something beautiful and untarnished. A thing that is left undisturbed so as to be an Inspiration to others. Something loved and revered....worthy of respect or dedication.
I stood in front of the mirror, and asked myself the question. 'Am I sacred?'. My response to myself, 'I AM SACRED!'. Since I tend to show my true emotions with my eyes and my expressions I quickly realized that my mouth was saying one thing but my face was speaking the truth. Saying you are sacred is not the same as believing you are sacred.
I'm constantly running on some sort of metaphorical treadmill for reasons I really don't understand just to do things I really could care less about. This is not sacred living. A broken spirit is not a sacred spirit.
If I truly am sacred and if I believe I am sacred, I need to honor what is sacred by investing in what is sacred. I need to invest in myself.
Sacredness is something which is venerated. Something whose worth is never diminished. Never depleted of its value.